INTRO

Let me tell you ‘bout a story 'bout some kids I knew back in 1989
The internet was just a baby then, you couldn't just go online
And so you couldn't just click if you wanted a pic of a woman all undressed
You had to work hard, and you had to have luck, if you wanted to be so blessed

VERSE 1

Tommy's walkin' through the woods on a bright Sunday morning where the party was the night before
He’d been at home playing video games, no girls knocking at his door
The cool kids don't even know his name, his parents won't let him go anyway
But now when mom and dad send him to church, this is where he comes to pray

He thinks half-drunk beers could be his sacred wine, but he spits out his very first sip
He would try to find God in a castaway roach but he's afraid to touch the clip
But then the wind blows and flips the page of an abandoned magazine
And laid out before him is the most perfect sight his eyes have ever seen

CHORUS 1

Dirty Magazines
In the woods
And now he's gettin' a peek
At more than he should
He wants his first kiss so bad
But he's a little too good
So he's reading all about it in
Magazines in the woods

VERSE 2

That same morning found Heather asleep curled up underneath a tree
She'd been a little wild at the party last night with beer plentiful and free
She blinked her eyes and held her head and thought maybe she'd just die
With mom drugged out and dad long gone no one would ever cry

When she heard the moan she thought at first that someone had been hurt
She followed the sound when at last she found Tommy wearing just his shirt
She thought with that big brain of his he could help her leave this town
And with that giant heart he had she might just keep him around

CHORUS 2

Dirty Magazines
In the woods
And now she's gettin' a peek
At more than she should
She knows she's being so bad
But she thinks he looks good
While he's staring at pictures in
Magazines in the woods

BRIDGE / SOLO

VERSE 3

Well things were a little awkward at first when Heather said hello
But they got to talking and soon it felt like they were friends from long ago
And Monday at school kids stared at them and couldn't understand
How it came to be that Heather and Tommy were walking hand in hand

Two lonely souls knew love that day and they're still together now
They've got three kids and travel the world as their busy jobs allow
They think about days spent outside before computer screens
They proudly publish one of the world's last dirty magazines

CHORUS 1

Dirty Magazines
In the woods
And now he's gettin' a peek
At more than he should
He wants his first kiss so bad
But he's a little too good
So he's reading all about it in
Magazines in the woods

CHORUS 3

Dirty Magazines
In the woods
And now she's gettin' a peek
At more than she should
She knows she's being so bad
But she thinks he looks good
When they are staring at pictures in
Magazines in the woods